family stories

Family Stories for Young Children

February is a unique month with so many celebrations, including  Black History Month. There are important messages about family stories for young children, no matter our heritage.family stories for young children

Children’s sense of self is interwoven with their family and family history. So much so that it’s sometimes called “the intergenerational self.” (The Intergenerational Self: Subjective Perspective and Family History, by R. Fivush, J. Bohanek and M. Duke) This knowledge of who we are and where we come from affects us deeply. Strength, security, and resilience are impacted by family stories and connections.

For those of you that follow this blog, you will know this is a recurring theme. Young children need to have a sense of family. With daycares, preschools, kindergarten, before and after school programs and more being part of the reality for so many kids, family provides continuity and connection. This is an excerpt from a previous post:

In the article, The Family Stories That Bind Us, Dr. Sara Duke explains that creating a connection to others and family history contribute to a child’s sense of belonging. This is a deep emotional need for all of us. The stories of ancestors gives kids a perspective of being part of something beyond just the present and themselves. Over the years, these form an inner resource to later help children thru tough times.

For a play-of-the-day, perhaps you and your child could look thru some photos. These might be in a book or on a screen. Just think of how Facebook pops up with memory photos for you. Are there some favorite family stories? You could tell about when you were a child. Kids often love to hear these stories.

Family stories for young children do not have to be happily-ever-after ones. There will be sad and scary ones. In our family, we talk about the grandma who died before the grandkids were born. We also include the happy note in the story that she loved penguins and books. You will find ways to balance your family stories too.

Do you share your family heritage with your children?

Family Meals for Kids

This week, and in the upcoming holiday season, many families will be enjoying meals together. What makes family meals for kids so special?

family mealDr. Anne Fishel, a Harvard professor and family therapist, is the author of Home for Dinner: Mixing Food, Fun and Conversation for Happier Families and Healthier Kids. She is also a co-founder of The Family Dinner Project and writes of the benefits for “the brain, the body, and the spirit.”

For brains, when families eat together, there is a good deal of conversation. Although they may not seem to be listening, children’s brains are absorbing the words used. “Young kids learned 1,000 rare words at the dinner table, compared to only 143 from parents reading storybooks aloud.” Having all these words in the brain bank helps make the challenge of learning to read easier. For older children, the effect can be seen in higher marks at school. In terms of bodies, eating together positively impacts nutritional choices. Kids do eat more veggies and fruit. The heart is influenced too. Not the heart muscle, but the emotions and feelings. “Kids who eat dinner with their parents experience less stress and have a better relationship with them.” (the conversation.com Science says: eat with your kids)

At holiday time, families grow and kids have a chance to eat with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and close friends. This sense of family and family history is an integral part of children’s sense of self. Plus the food, family stories are often dished up. Despite the groans at hearing these same stories for the zillionth time, they are part of the festivities.  This creates a family history and becomes part of children’s sense of self within the larger family group , a sort of “intergenerational context,  and this sense of self provokes strength and security.” (The Intergenerational Self: Subjective Perspective and Family History, by R. Fivush, J. Bohanek and M. Duke) Self-confidence and resilience are enhanced as family members interact and support each other.

Not all families will be able to share a holiday meal and for some, it may not be a comfortable time. When it is possible, it’s a gift we are giving ourselves and our children. Will there be any meals together for your family?

Family and Children’s Early Emotional Development

Have you heard of the “intergenerational self”  and how it helps with children’s early emotional development?  Family is a major factor.

On the weekend, an aunt and uncle in my family, celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. Besides the cake, the greetings, the visiting, and the gifts, there were the stories. Many family members and friends had wonderful anecdotes about the couple. Together, we all smiled, laughed, groaned, and even wiped something in our eyes.

auntpat-unclereg-60

As a child, I remember being at events like this. Since, I saw some of the people only occasionally, I wasn’t all the interested in who they were and forgot their names. I’m sure many of the little ones at the party felt the same way I used to. Still and all, these get togethers are a powerful way to support children’s emotional and social development. In Dr. Duke’s words, “The ones who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges.”

In the article, The Family Stories That Bind Us, Dr. Sara Duke explains that creating a connection to others and family history contribute to a child’s sense of belonging. This is a deep emotional need for all of us. The stories of ancestors gives kids a perspective of being part of something beyond just the present and themselves. Over the years, these form an inner resource to later help children thru tough times.

memory quilt

One of the gifts my aunt and uncle received was a memory quilt. A cousin printed photo collages onto fabric and sewed the squares together. What a treasure, and we all admired it. Of course, the real treasure is the connection , no matter our age.

For a play-of-the-day, can you tell  your child a story about the family, look at some photos, visit someone, or call on the phone? Perhaps, this will be important, for you too?

10 New Year’s Resolutions with Young Kids: #2-Books, Stories

Would you be smarter if you could download 1,000 books into your brain? Downloading 5,000 books into your child’s brain can be done in minutes a day. Reading to your child a few minutes every day is a super new year’s resolution. The following infographic shows how easy it is for just a few books … Continue reading 10 New Year’s Resolutions with Young Kids: #2-Books, Stories