Social and Emotional

What Make Summer Magical for Kids? Crazy Family Stories!

Once Upon A Family…

Stories are magical any time of the year, but stories about family members, are extra special to young children. The ones that are most popular are the adventures, or misadventures, of moms and dads when they were kids, and of siblings. Tucked away in my heart, are the countless times my mother used to tell about how far she had to walk to school. My granddad had stories too, especially about the family’s black dog and why he was called Red. (My sister and aunt painted him.)

importance of family storiesDid you know that stories like these are a tremendously valuable part of childhood and contribute to social and emotional development? A friend posted a terrific article called “The Stories That Bind Us” written by Bruce Feiler, in the NY Times. Trying to answer the question about what holds a family together, he realized that “The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.”

The stories about hardships, successes, memorable events and ordinary, mundane details create a sort of safety-net for kids. According to psychologist Sara Duke, “The ones who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges.” The children have better self-esteem, higher resilience and a greater sense of control in their lives because “They know they belong to something bigger than themselves.”

Families may not have the same amount of time to be together with everyone so busy, so we need to take advantage of minutes where we find them. A car ride may be long enough for a story or two, or bath time, or waiting for supper to cook. For a play-of-the-day today, can you share a story with your children about when you were little?

Soccer Can Help Kids Get Ready For Kindergarten

There are many ways that soccer can help kids get ready for school or daycare, and learning about winning and losing is one of them. The completion of the first round of soccer means the elimination portion has begun where only the teams that win will play any more games. Coping with wins and losses can be a challenge for adults, so imagine how much harder it is for kids.

soccer fun and learning for young childrenYoung children have likely had some experiences with things not being equal; maybe baby sister gets the cuddle or big brother gets an ice cream treat. However, children’s understanding about what it means to win or lose or what it means to be fair is still developing. Experiences may sometimes be hard but generally, parents and other caregivers try to make learning about winning and losing less hurtful for young children. We can’t shield kids from it all the time, but we can help them learn gently.

When we watch a soccer or other game, nearly everyone is cheering for one team or the other. Kids like to do what they see grownups doing, so they will cheer too. They may know the name of the team and have favorite players. Kids may not be able to count accurately, but they can recognize who is who by their numbers. Kids are not only watching the game, they are also watching us. For kids to cope with winning or not, they need to know that it is safe to lose.

Our reactions to a loss will influence a child. We need to ‘show and tell’ that we feel disappointed but that we accept it. With some days having more than one or two soccer games, kids will have lots of opportunities to watch and hear us.

This will impact children especially when they become more independent at preschool and kindergarten.There are lots more kids than teachers and caregivers in a classroom and not every child can be first in line, or gets a turn that day with the big music drum. Sigh, it’s hard to learn but seeing grownups dealing with winning and losing appropriately can help kids learn this, too. It’s more than a kindergarten readiness skill, it’s a life skill! In the meantime, how’s your team doing at soccer?

Educating the Mind, Heart, and Body of Young Children

Where is the Mind, Anyway?

Last week, I heard an interview with Sam Keane, author of a new book called “The Tale of The Dueling Neurosurgeons.” In his book, he explains that for much of history, the mind was considered to be located not within the brain but within the heart. Unfortunately, it seems that we have gone to the other extreme, so that the mind is now locked in the brain. We do not recognize that the rest of the body has anything to do with thinking.

educating hearts and minds of young childrenScientists need to watch young children to see how they think with their whole bodies. As babies learn to reach, their eyes certainly focus on the prize but their hands and arms seem to have their own ideas. Toddlers and preschoolers do not always know what their bodies are doing and are surprised when they get in trouble. As a matter of fact, sometimes as adults we find we’ve walked somewhere totally unexpected and say, “My feet just seemed to have a mind of their own.”

Children often use the learning strategy of imitating. When kids imitate their parents, they copy their actions with their bodies but are unaware of the thoughts. Kids often repeat exactly what another child is saying, as if by copying the words they can figure out what the other child means.

The heart has its own way of thinking, too. Have you ever had your heart tell you one thing and your head tell you the opposite? The expression for that situation is torn in two or being of two minds, one mind in the brain and one in the heart.

When it comes to kids, we need to make sure we honor the ‘mind of the heart’. They need to know the words for emotions, especially happy, sad, angry, and scared. It’s helpful for them to talk about their feelings, like feeling ready to explode or  tummy all twisted up. They may have their own descriptions such as feeling all empty inside, or tight like an elastic band. Their feelings can support or block learning.

For a play-of-the-day, use some words for emotions and feelings. Maybe make faces at each other and guess what the other person is thinking. You can give your child a mirror for making silly faces. In the words of Aristotle, “Educating the mind, without educating the heart, is no education at all.” Or, maybe that should be educate the minds of the brain, heart, and body? What—and where—do you think?

Helping Young Children Learn to be Independent

Parents Are Children’s Safety Net When it comes to children’s early learning and development, parents are not just children’s first teachers, they are also their safety net. A friend of ours posted two amazing pictures on Facebook. A hummingbird had built a nest in the family basketball net. Not on the rim which is pretty … Continue reading Helping Young Children Learn to be Independent

What Makes Childhood Magical? Part 19: Friends

The Magic of Friends During the preschool years children’s brains grow faster than at any other time in their lives, but we sometimes forget that their hearts, that is emotions and feelings, are also developing. We need to give kids the opportunities for building their social and emotional skills as well as their muscles and … Continue reading What Makes Childhood Magical? Part 19: Friends

What Makes Childhood Magical? Part 18: Family Fun

Fun with the Family is Magical One of the reasons why vacations and holidays are so special is because the family has time to be together. For children, the event or occasion is much less important than having fun with everybody else. If you think back to your childhood, are there some great memories of … Continue reading What Makes Childhood Magical? Part 18: Family Fun

What Makes Childhood Magical? Part 13: Community Events

The Magic of Community Events Magic comes in many shapes, sizes, colors, sounds, and tastes. One place to find a whole variety of these is at a community event or celebration. From clowns and candy floss, to parades and pony rides, and everything in between, kids remember special events and anticipate them from year to … Continue reading What Makes Childhood Magical? Part 13: Community Events