Social and Emotional

Change: Friend or Enemy? Helping Kids Cope with Change

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Today’s play-of-the-day, helping kids cope with change, is inspired by a move for our family. Change can be really challenging for kids. They barely have their sea legs coping with what ‘s happening on a regular basis. Change can upset the balance and there’s lots of it for kids It might be a new baby brother or sister, a change in the family structure, a different babysitter or care center, or a move to a new house or unfamiliar city. Just the change when a parent doesn’t go to work at the usual time or a babysitter is sick can be a big deal for a child. Major changes mean a whole new world.

empathy and imagination

Helping kids cope with change can be a challenge. For some children, it will be more of an issue than for others and their stress may show in different ways. Once you’ve explained to a child and answered many, many questions, some resources are books and stories. Depending on the concern, check out the local library or bookstore for ideas. If you can’t find a book for what you need, you can make up your own story. Kids relate to animals so you may want to choose one your child likes and have the animal face the situation.

Kids thrive on routines. As much as possible, keep the regular family schedule. Some things change and some stay the same. You may have to name the feelings for the child, not just acknowledge them, especially if you see a difference in behavior or sleeping patterns.

Even if this isn’t a concern for your family now, we can help kids feel comfortable with change. If possible today, introduce something unusual. This could be having dessert in a cup or spreading a blanket on the floor for a snack picnic. Maybe everyone could switch places at the table for meal time, just for a change.

helping kids cope with change

Having fun with a few changes every now gives kids an opportunity to experience change and practice handling the situation. Helping kids cope with change is a way to build resilience. How do you deal with this?

Early Learning

Kids Need Routines – Helping Kids Make Friends with Routine

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Monday starts the week’s routine; did you know kids need routines? This post explores why and since it’s friendship month, making friends with routines.

Lego play activities

A routine functions like an invisible security blanket. It wraps around a child giving a sense of comfort and familiarity. Kids know what’s coming next, instead of always being surprised. It’s easier to prepare and feel in control. Having to deal with something new constantly can be challenging and stressful. Usually, we think of stress in terms of adults, but one in four kids is affected by anxiety. A routine eases that.

As adults, we’ve had years of routines so we can predict pretty accurately how a day will roll. Since kids are new at this, it helps to have clues.

Typically, a routine for kids starts with getting up, having breakfast, and getting ready for the rest of the day. It might be at home, or at a care center. Some play time possibly mixed with a few errands, lunch, maybe a nap, play activities and hopefully, some outside time. Then, the day winds down with the last meal, although with kids that’s debatable, and bedtime. Having a consistent bedtime helps with sleep issues and getting a good rest. Kids play hard and adequate rest is essential.

To help kids with routines, this is part of an earlier post, suggests resources:

“Clocks with pictures give kids clues about the very basic sleep-awake cycle. Stories and books are encourage acceptance of routines. For kids that are sleepy and grumpy in the morning, share “The Morning Grumblies: A Book About Waking up Grumpy” by Beau Blackwell. Anna Dewdney writes about wiggles and shakes to start the day in “Llama llama, wakey wakey.” You may want to find pictures on line and make a plan for the day in pictures.”

morning-grumbliesFor each part of the day, give kids information about what’s happening next. Occasionally, get mixed up and let them ‘correct’ you. They think this is funny. For instance, you might tell them to wash hands and put on their pajamas for lunch. If you do this a few times on purpose, kids can’t tell when you are lost in space and doing it accidentally. Kids need routines and so do adults. They help brains.

“Routines not only support our biological clocks and lessen anxiety, they can affect our emotions, success with learning, and relationships. Growth hormone is secreted during sleep when the body can divert energy from “maintaining wakefulness and activity levels, to the function of growth.” Clocks have hands—well, at least they used to. In a way, routines are the hands for the day, pointing us in the right direction at the right time.”

Kids need routines. How do you help your child when it comes to routines?

Social and Emotional

Kids Can Be Friends with Monsters, the Dark, and Other Fears

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February is friendship month and kids can be friends with monsters, the dark, and other fears. It’s easier to deal with now than later and we can use play.

play dough activities for kids

Being scared is a typical challenge for young children. Some fears, like loud noises, develop from the extra stimulation on children’s senses. Plus, there are so many unknowns and kids don’t have the experience to know what’s logical and what’s not. Water goes down the drain, so why can’t they? Getting a haircut doesn’t hurt like getting a finger cut. In this case, the words add to the confusion. Using stories, puppets, games, paper and crayons, play dough and a few household items, we can help kids cope with fears.

When the lights are off, objects look like strange creatures or monsters. One clever strategy is to fill a spray bottle with colored water and label this as Monster Spray. Whenever kids think there are monsters, they can give a squirt or two and the monsters go away. There are dozens and dozens of stories about monsters under the bed. In one story, “Brave Little Monster” by Ken Baker, a baby monster is afraid of the boy under the bed. Of course, the monster parents try and tell him there’s no such thing as boys and girls. Laughter helps anyone deal with fears. Games do too. Sometimes a game of pretending to be monsters that chase each other gives kids the opportunity to turn monsters into play.

kids be friends with fears

Drawing a scary monster, building one with blocks,  or making one with play dough seems to reduce them from the giant ones in imagination to only a handful. These activities work for real creatures too, like spiders or bugs or worms. With crayons or paints, kids can color what they are afraid of. Drawing spiders and creating some out of craft materials takes them from 3-d to 2-d and they don’t seem so scary. Like with monsters, books are a great resource. If you can’t find the specific one you need, you can make up your own story to tell your child.

For the dark, astronaut Chris Hadfield wrote about his own experience as a child in the book, The Darkest Dark. From being too afraid to sleep in his own bed, he instead becomes fascinated by stars and outer space. As kids hear the words about “the power and the mystery and the velvety black” they too begin to change their fear into curiosity.

stargazing for kids

Fears to children are very real. Acknowledging their feelings is important. Using the tools and resources of childhood, kids can be friends with monsters, the dark, and other fears. How do you help your child cope?

 

Play Activities

February Friendship #9: Kids Can Make Friends with Imagination

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Not every child imagines a friend or playmate but all kids can make friends with imagination. It’s a powerful tool for playing and for thinking and feeling. Imaginative play can happen any time and certainly anywhere. While the action is taking place in the mind, there is also action in the body. If you close … Continue reading February Friendship #9: Kids Can Make Friends with Imagination →

Science Activities

February Friendship #8: Kids Can Be Friends with Science

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Instead of kids can be friends with science, maybe this should be adults can be. Kids are always exploring and trying things out to see what happens. For us, kids’ science play isn’t such fun when we answer 300 questions a day or wait while a child throws double that number of rocks in the … Continue reading February Friendship #8: Kids Can Be Friends with Science →

Social and Emotional

Kids Need Elderly Friends and Intergenerational Relationships

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Kids need elderly friends and intergenerational relationships. Presidents Day has inspired this post; they are not elderly but older than young parents. More and more, we are seeing the importance of social skills and the impact they have on learning and life. With young kids, we think of helping them make friends with children their … Continue reading Kids Need Elderly Friends and Intergenerational Relationships →

Art Music Drama

February Friendship #7: Kids Can Be Friends with Music and Singing

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Kids can be friends with music and singing. Is music part of your child’s day? Food is nutrition for bodies, and music is nutrition for brains. This excerpt is from an earlier post on the importance of music for children: Wow, is there ever a lot of research on music for learning and brain development. … Continue reading February Friendship #7: Kids Can Be Friends with Music and Singing →

Play Activities

Kids Can Be Friends with Boredom – Being Bored Isn’t Bad

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This might sound like a strange post for Friendship Month, but being bored isn’t bad, for kids or adults, and kids can be friends with boredom. Both the solution and the results can be very satisfying. Kids often say, “There’s nothing to do. I’m bored.” Our first reaction is just as often to worry. Next, … Continue reading Kids Can Be Friends with Boredom – Being Bored Isn’t Bad →