Social and Emotional

Magic Wishes #5: Calm, Quiet, Destress Space for Kids

2017/04/07 admin Leave a comment

Play can include a calm, quiet, destress space for kids. One parent’s wish is giving the rest of us something to think about for at school and at home.This month, blog posts are based on answers to the question, “If you had one wish for a preschool or kindergarten or other childcare program left-over from St. Patrick’s Day or a sort-of realistic magic wand you found on April Fool’s, what would you want?” Answers have been varied and really interesting. This wish for a quiet place for kids come from L-A, a mother of two and kindergarten teacher.

Do kids need a quiet retreat at school and at home? Absolutely. Just like adults. What about you? Do you have a place where you can go when you are feeling overwhelmed? For parents, sometimes it’s locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes. At work, it may still be a bathroom or even a storage closet. Anything for a few minutes where the phone isn’t ringing or someone is stopping by your counter or desk. We take coffee breaks, but that’s not the same as a quiet break.

We might expect a calm, quiet space for kids to have dim lighting, soft cushions, furry stuffed animals, and books, but many of them also include sensory materials. A spongey ball, lava lamp, heavy blanket, and squishy playdough are possibilities. Carolyn Feder shares some suggestions in her article Top Ideas to Create a Calming Sensory Bedroom Space for Autism Parenting.

At home or in a care or school center, we may be able to find a room or a corner to make a retreat. Sometimes, a big box or small tent is an option. In the car, this can be quite tricky. A super article gives a list of 40 items you can use to make a calm-down bin. For kids that find public spaces like stores or offices a challenge, you can tuck a few into a bag to take along.

In a child’s own words on this video, “Sometimes I get really frustrated and mad.” After spending 5 minutes in the special sensory calming room, “I go back to class and then everything starts to return happy.”

No wonder a quiet place for kids is a wish from this parent. Is there a calm, quiet, destress space for kids at your house or childcare center?

Social and Emotional

How to Steal a March #16: Helping Kids Develop Self-Regulation Skills

2017/03/24 admin Leave a comment

We all want what’s best for kids, if only we knew–but we do; helping kids develop self-regulation skills is critical for their future and their success. And the most sensitive time to begin that process is during the early years, from birth to the age of 5. The best way is with everyday, ordinary experiences. Self-regulation involves coping with emotions, controlling impulses and attention, handling problems, and being able to wait. Early childhood expert, Dr.Ida Rose Florez, has studied young children and the role of self-regulation. In her article, Developing Young Children’s Self-Regulation through Everyday Experiences, she describes it as a sort of internal thermostat that we all use to guide our responses to situations. Children learn how to turn on and off their reactions to situations and to warm up or cool down their interactions. Like any other skills, this takes practice and support. As parents and teachers, we can help kids develop them.

Each day will have countless opportunities for us to model how we control and regulate our emotions and behaviors. For instance, if we are feeling frustrated because the morning is hectic, we can mention we’re getting pretty upset and need to take a deep breath so we can get back to being calm. Out and about, if we have to wait in line, we can talk about how it’s hard to wait for a turn, but that’s what people do.

Children don’t have the words to tell us about their emotions. When we notice emotions building, we can say something like, “I see you are feeling frustrated because you can’t get that toy to work.” Or perhaps, “I hear your voice is quite upset when your sister/brother won’t listen to you. Are you feeling angry?” As well as cues and reminders, a gentle touch or short back rub can help a child regain control.

Books and stories are great resources for sharing examples. There are dozens of titles for many common issues for kids. Maurice Sendak’s, “Where the Wild Things Are,” has been a top choice for decades.

One of the best opportunities for helping kids develop self-regulation skills is, of course, through play. As children play, they are being constantly challenged to explore their emotions, solve problems, and direct their attention. Development of these skills gives kids a distinct advantage, it enables them to ‘steal a march.’ What can you do today to support learning self-regulation?

Social and Emotional

How to Steal a March #5: Kids Social Skills Give An Advantage Over Academics

2017/03/09 admin Leave a comment

Whenever we think of success at school, we assume that academics is most important, but did you know kids social skills give an advantage over academics? Research is showing us that kids who cope with the social challenges of school are the ones who experience success.

When we think about social skills vs academics it’s maybe not so surprising. Kids need the confidence to ask questions and seek help, the skills to work with others and share talents, the resilience to bounce back after failures, and the perseverance to keep going. We can start the for all of these long before kids get to school.

Young children do not come with social skills in their brain backpacks. Helping them learn positive ways to interact with others is a huge challenge for parents, teachers, and caregivers. Three basic skills for kids are learning to share, to take turns, and to wait. These are easier for some than for others so we may need to try different ways to support them.

When it comes to sharing, it’s so funny to see toddlers offer us a bite of something only to take it back. They have only figured out part of the process as they build on our example. Acknowledging a child’s effort is also important. “I see you are sharing,” is a simple comment that echoes deep. Books and stories are a valuable resource. The brain is hard-wired for stories and seems to absorb the message. We need to remember to give kids the words to use and this is one way. When kids play with others, there are many opportunities to share and to learn to ask others to share with them.

Taking turns is a critical part of building relationships. Many games and activities give kids practice at taking turns. We also need to provide the words and example for asking others to give us a turn. “Please wait, I’m not done my turn.” can help kids as they interact with playmates.

Learning to wait is more than being patient. It involves attention and focus, and being able to keep going while waiting for the payoff or reward. Having a few strategies is really helpful. When we are waiting in line at the bank, for example, we can sing songs together or tell stories. The game I Spy is great for filling minutes when waiting. You might want to choose a color and think of as many items of that color as possible. Decide on a shape and count the number of things of that shape.

To “steal a march on someone” is to have an advantage over them and kids social skills give an advantage over academics. Will your child’s day have some social fun and play?