Social and Emotional

Resolution Words for the New Year #1 – Ways to ACKNOWLEDGE Kids

2017/01/02 admin Leave a comment

Word of the Day is ACKNOWLEDGE

Instead of New Year’s resolutions, how about just words for the New Year? Today’s word is acknowledge and the post is ways to acknowledge kids.

Jeff A. Johnson from Explorations Early Learning shared another great quote poster this week. It’s inspired a whole month of posts using one word for each letter of the alphabet. Each day’s post will have both a play and a word-of-the-day. This quote from Janet Lansbury’s book Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting seems so appropriate for starting the New Year.

There’s no doubt that kids like attention from parents, caregivers, other adults and any available kids. How often has your child asked, “Look at me. See what I can do.” Many times, kids seek attention in words and behaviors that aren’t so positive. Acknowledging kids doesn’t mean approving or condoning behavior. It means really listening to their words and seeing the emotions on their face and body. As Lansbury says, it’s a way to connect. Another way to say it is: acknowledging is the interplay between us and a child. It’s certainly a critical part of social and emotional growth and development.

What are some ways to acknowledge kids? One way is to get down to a child’s level. All the better to hear. Once the child has poured forth the story, we can say, “I hear what you are saying.” We don’t have to react. Our next work could be as simple as, “Hmmm.” Sometimes, this is what’s most needed.

Another possibility is to look at the child intently. We could say, “I see on your face and in your body, you might be feeling sad, angry, upset, scared, excited, impatient, frustrated, bursting with something to say,” or whatever it is we notice. If a child seems to have retreated inside, we can invite some interplay by asking, “Can you tell me about that?”

Some children do not like to make eye-contact. They might better respond to hands on shoulders, or a gentle rubbing on their back. A high five or a hug is pretty neat too.

When it comes to acknowledging accomplishments, words like “Good job,” or “That’s great,” do not have the same impact as stating the obvious. When we say, “I see you picked up all the toys,” we are also giving the child the message that we are really noticing them, not just the outcome.

Remembering just one word for the day is so much easier that an entire New Year’s resolution. What are your thoughts about the word acknowledge?

Social and Emotional

Helping Kids With Self-Regulation – Fire OK for Dragons, Not Kids

2016/11/23 admin Leave a comment

Dragons aren’t very good controlling their emotions. They just breathe fire. Helping kids with self-regulation is easier than helping dragons. It’s okay for dragons to breathe fire, but not kids.

Self-regulation is the ability and skills to control our emotions, motivation, and attention or focus. It affects all of us for our whole life and it’s crucial to support children to develop a strong emotional core during the early years.

When it comes to feelings, besides understanding them, a big challenge for kids is how to regulate their own emotions. When dragons are angry they can breathe fire and roar. Is it okay for kids to breathe fire and roar at people? No, that’s not such a good choice.

Tantrums, melt-downs, and losing it, are pretty fiery but they aren’t good choices either. Kids don’t come pre-equipped with the skills and understanding to handle strong feelings. This is something they need to learn. Helping kids with self-regulation involves parents, caregivers, and other adults.

Children will learn from watching us as we go about everyday activities and interact with others. It helps if we can explain what we are feeling. Here’s an example. Last week, when packing for a short trip, the zipper broke on the suitcase. After biting my tongue so I didn’t say a bad word, I used words and tone of voice and said, “Oh, how frustrating! Now, I’ll have to change suitcases. This is a problem and I feel like screaming. Guess, I’ll take a deep breath and see if I can calm myself down.” When you do this, you are giving your child the words for an inner voice and the example of what to do.

We can also give kids hints, reminders, or clues. For example, we might say to a child, “You look upset. Would you like to ask someone for help?” If a child is having difficulty with a toy, we can ask them if they’d like to take a break for a minute or two and come back. Kids can use the hints for their actions. This way they can practice making the choice. Physical touch, like rubbing a child’s back, or giving a hand a squeeze can be effective reminders for calming down.

Waiting can be hard for adults, so it’s understandable it’s especially hard for kids. Strategies like looking at a book, singing songs, or playing an I Spy game can make waiting much easier. Speaking of books, there are many books and stories you can share for helping kids with self-regulation. Libraries will likely have some you can borrow.

In any day, there will be countless challenges for kids to cope with their emotions. They need to know it’s okay to have strong feelings. They might even feel like they have a fire inside. But, who would want to negotiate with a dragon?

Social and Emotional

Dragon Fun and Learning: Helping Kids With Feelings and Fears

2016/11/22 admin Leave a comment

Helping kids with feelings and fears can be quite a challenge. Some resources can be their own toys, including dragons, and their activities as we guide them to understand feelings and cope with fears. There are both friendly and fierce-looking dragons.

Dragons are big, scary creatures. While they don’t exist in real life, in a way they exist in the mind. Children have powerful imaginations and what they imagine can generate deep feelings. Despite have big teeth and being able to breathe fire, knights often fight with dragons. Knights are brave. When kids are playing with dragons we can ask them if they are afraid of dragons or if they are brave. What does brave feel like?

We can ask kids to show us what scared and brave would look like. As we watch kids, we should be able to see a difference. Usually, they strike poses and are pretty dramatic. This gives us an idea if kids are able to match words to appropriate feelings. There are so many feelings and words to figure out that it’s easy to get them confused.

Sometimes, there are situations when we need to ask children if they can be brave, such as letting a doctor look at and touch an injury. It’s helpful if we can give them an example, like asking them to be brave like a knight that has to stand up to a scary dragon. Let them know it’s okay to still feel scared. Being brave is a way to handle those feelings.

Not only do kids need to learn about their own feelings, but about other people’s too. One way to do that is to look at faces. Faces can tell us about other people. Make some silly faces together.

Have you ever asked your child to show you a mad face or a happy face? Those are pretty easy. Check for a sad, worried, surprised, and scared face too. A huge part of communication happens without any words. No wonder we need lots of resources for helping kids with feelings and fears. What kind of dragon or people faces can you make?