Social and Emotional

Family and Children’s Early Emotional Development

Have you heard of the “intergenerational self”  and how it helps with children’s early emotional development?  Family is a major factor.

On the weekend, an aunt and uncle in my family, celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. Besides the cake, the greetings, the visiting, and the gifts, there were the stories. Many family members and friends had wonderful anecdotes about the couple. Together, we all smiled, laughed, groaned, and even wiped something in our eyes.

auntpat-unclereg-60

As a child, I remember being at events like this. Since, I saw some of the people only occasionally, I wasn’t all the interested in who they were and forgot their names. I’m sure many of the little ones at the party felt the same way I used to. Still and all, these get togethers are a powerful way to support children’s emotional and social development. In Dr. Duke’s words, “The ones who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges.”

In the article, The Family Stories That Bind Us, Dr. Sara Duke explains that creating a connection to others and family history contribute to a child’s sense of belonging. This is a deep emotional need for all of us. The stories of ancestors gives kids a perspective of being part of something beyond just the present and themselves. Over the years, these form an inner resource to later help children thru tough times.

memory quilt

One of the gifts my aunt and uncle received was a memory quilt. A cousin printed photo collages onto fabric and sewed the squares together. What a treasure, and we all admired it. Of course, the real treasure is the connection , no matter our age.

For a play-of-the-day, can you tell  your child a story about the family, look at some photos, visit someone, or call on the phone? Perhaps, this will be important, for you too?

School Toolbox: Being Able To Wait

Kids often receive lists of items they will need to start kindergarten. Besides these, there are some other tools and strategies, like being able to wait.

strategic allocation of attentionAre you asking how this could possibly be important for school? It’s hard to believe, but it can have a very significant impact on children’s success at school.

Having to wait is a fact of life, and it’s not just negative. Kids have to wait until they get up in the morning; they can’t always get out of bed as soon as they wake up. Sometimes, it’s still before 5 or 6 in the morning. After helping to mix up a batch of cookies, they have to wait until they are baked. When walking, we have to wait for the light to change before crossing the street.

Being able to waiting requires impulse control and self-regulation. We don’t realize that being able to wait is a skill. Instead, we think of it as personality, but being patient depends on the strategies that we know and use so that we can wait. Some of these waiting-tools might be singing, playing games, reading a book or telling stories.

social skills for kindergartenGerald the elephant, has a very hard time waiting with Piggie in the story Waiting is Not Easy, by Mo Willems. He handles waiting with groans. Piggie reminds his elephant friend that it will be worth it.

Waiting time has actually been the subject of some scientific research. It’s called Strategic Allocation of Attention. Studying years after high school requires that we be able to delay the reward. Spending years building a business means being able to wait for the payoff. Like other skills, it needs practice and exercise to get good at it.

Helping your child develop a few tools for being able to wait is another way to equip their off to school toolbox. Can you wait for another idea until tomorrow?

School Tool Box: Social Skill of Taking Turns

learning to take turnsAs we get kids ready to go off to school, we help pack both backpacks and their school tool box. An important tool is the social skill of taking turns.

Being able to take turns might seem like something insignificant but it is the basis for all relationships. In any relationship there is give and take. Our first interactions with infants begins creating the brain pathways for my turn, your turn. Before babies learn to use words, we talk and wait for their sounds. As we roll balls back and forth with wee ones, we are again using this back and forth, see-saw strategy.

Gradually, kids develop this skill until we take it for granted and think of it as natural. But we soon realize, as kids enter into relationships with other children, how many experiences of taking turns are needed. At daycare, preschool, and kindergarten, there will be reminders to take turns, both from the staff and the kids themselves.

learning to take turnsSome ways we can help kids learn to take turns are to model this in our interactions with them. There are also some fun book we can read and talk about. Little Blue Truck, by Alice Schertle, is the story of many cars, trucks, and buses, that all want to be first. When there is big traffic jam, Little Blue truck has a suggestion. Kids can play with their own cars, trucks, and other toys and try out various scenarios or have a parade with other kids.

follow the leader gameBoard games are great for practicing taking turns and so are playgrounds. Only one child can slide down at a time. Some monkey bars and bridges will be only one at a time, too. Follow the leader is a fun outside game.  Kids will watch us as we take turns each and every day. It also helps if kids have some strategies about what to do as they wait for a turn. The next blog post will discuss helping kids learn to wait.

Would you like a turn to share your suggestions?

Social and Emotional Skills for Kids: Sharing

The next few posts will discuss some social and emotional skills for kids. Knowing research is finding these contribute to children’s success is exciting. As parents and caregivers, we don’t have to be rocket scientists to raise smart and capable kids. We can relax and play, plus play is how kids learn best. The easiest … Continue reading Social and Emotional Skills for Kids: Sharing

School Toolbox: Helpful Interpersonal Skills for School

With summer half-over, it’s time to start thinking about kindergarten. Kids need backpacks and toolboxes—well, a toolbox of interpersonal skills for school. Some research published just this summer in the American Journal of Public Health has sparked some very interesting discussions. Hundreds of kindergarten kids were followed for almost 20 years! The results showed that … Continue reading School Toolbox: Helpful Interpersonal Skills for School

Kids and Kindergarten Separation Anxiety

Off to School Tool Box: Independence and Confidence Every year there are a few kids with kindergarten separation anxiety. An important tool for the off to school tool box is independence and confidence. Separating from parents or other familiar adults and caregivers can be a big deal for some children. Others are so comfortable that … Continue reading Kids and Kindergarten Separation Anxiety

Help a Child Starting Kindergarten #1

Off to School Tool Box: Eagerness to Learn The back-to-school flyers are appearing ‘cuz school starts soon. Here are some ways to help a child starting kindergarten, a sort of off to school tool box. Along with backpacks, there are some other things that help kids make the transition to school. Because the whole point … Continue reading Help a Child Starting Kindergarten #1